the last

My last 82 days in a place where I found myself.

The city of hearts. The city of dreams.
It's like a beautiful book, with these amazing colorful chapters, about dreamers I've met along the way, haters who turned to lovers and people who dropped their shells to try and make my path a little harder, I only thank you.

Chapters about nights on stairs, nights with microphones in our hands, nights spent in bars that reach the sky, nights where you met total strangers and went out and had amazing times, nights that never ended, nights that carried on even after the sun had said hello. nights spent in shibuya, nights spent in harajuku, nights spent in shinjuku, nights spent in kyoto, nights spent in roppongi.
nights spent at school and nights spent at macdonals before tests, sleepless nights at jonathans with dorinku-baa.

Running to catch the last yamanote-sen and smiling for yourself when you look at a kanji and remember what it felt like the first time you could read a streetsign correct. How hard and painful it was... and how we can talk with the people in th far east and read their insane alphabet.

I love you city. I love your beautiful buildings. I love how you smell and how you're never silent. I love your trees and your wind, I love your streets and I love your lights and neon, I love the chaos and the flurring that is you. I love waking up a late summersday to the sound of fresh rain and crickets outside my balcony slidedoor, that I leave open during nights for it's so hot and humid. I love your mountains that surround you and how the sun is bright red when it says goodnight and dissapears behind Mt. fuji, I love that you never ever ever sleep. I love you Tokyo. My home my love my place.

I love you. I love you from the bottom of my soul neon city. I feel how the tears want
to fall down my cold cheeks but how I won't. Im going to love you and use you and live with you
for 82 more days Tokyo.

You have my dreams and Im coming back someday.
I remember our first meeting like yesterday, how my pulse was beating and how calm i felt at the same time.
The smell of chlorine, food, ocean, and petrol and trees all at once.

How strange and sad it is to leave home. again. however home doesn't need to be a place... <3

Doors

From the doors to a bar in a doorm. throught the night, into the morning light.

4 days.

reckoning

One week.

One whole week. One whole week of anticipation.

I will touch your bones, beautiful winter come take me.
I haven't touched snow for 2 years. I love you Tokyo. I feel at ease here.

I miss seeing you from the sunny side. Things will change.

I found myself wearing colour. This is strange.
Blue legs. Yellow legs. Green torso. Brown torso. Red torso. Red scarf. Beige coat.
Green nails. Red nails. Silver nails. Red lips. Purple eyes. Stripy sweater. Flowery vest.

Cosmic Dust

Midnight. Moonlight. Havana club. Music. Maya. Ludz.

The Park. Trees. Cropcircles. Dreams. Cosmic Dust.

Cheetos.

Cirkus

There is a reason
that I don't have alot of friends.

People will walk over bodies to get what they want.
I find it very very strange though, how incredibly
evil they can be. How they suck every single bit of
happiness out of you to feed themselves.
How they are blinded by the diamonds and the emerald cities.

I am evil and heinous, the one who wishes all evil in the world.
I am the one who wants to see the people I love fail.
I watch you with my black eyes. and I smile.

People warned me of you. I didn't listen, I said no.
You have her misundersstood. They were right.
I was wrong. Now I bleed, and I take my hat off for your play,
the beautiful acting, and the amazing scenery you
built around the stage, and the kickass ending.
I never expected that finish, so bravo :)

As Regina would have said it:

"All my friends say that of course its gonna get better
gonna get better better
better better better better better better
I never loved nobody fully
always one foot on the ground
and by protecting my heart truly
I got lost in the sounds
I hear in my mind
all these voices
I hear in my mind all these words
I hear in my mind all this music

And it breaks my heartIt breaks my heart
I hear in my mind all of these voices
I hear in my mind all of these words
I hear in my mind all of this music

Breaks my Heart Breaks my heart"




I'm done. My last bit of energy I give you, was this. Adieu!

Gliding

secrets. flower embedded broidery. burn.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtKsVq9XlfA&feature=related

And that was that

thank you.

sick

let me be angry. let me be sad. let me cry. let me hate you. let me dream of a life without you. let me write evil things. let me sing sad songs.
let me cut the fingers of a judge. let me break the legs of a ballerina. let me let me deafen the voice of a bird. let me be angry and let me be sad.

Have a few people around me that I love, and always will.

15 days. 15 long days.

Had enough. Im out. forreal. give me air, and let me breathe.

Take me away from this shit, anxiety piece of crap place full of fakes and hypocrits.

I never spoke a bad word until now. and i don't regret it.

The moon is beautiful tonight. None of you will ever see it's beauty.

You can only see beauty that ends by the tip of your noses.

sad story.